Liking the Child You Love: Build a Better Relationship with Your Kids--Even When They're Driving You Crazy

Jeffrey Bernstein, Author Da Capo Lifelong Books $14.95 (250p) ISBN 978-0-7382-1261-6
Author/psychologist Bernstein (10 Days to a Less Defiant Child), aka ""Dr. Jeff,"" delves into ""the dark thoughts of anxious parents"" who love their kids, but can't figure out how to like them. Bernstein claims millions of parents suffer from an affliction he calls Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS), characterized by negativity, resentment and frustration regarding one's own child. According to Bernstein, PFS is caused by toxic thinking; to combat this habit, he provides parents with the tools to identify and transform their damaging thoughts. Such toxic thinking patterns as using labels or sarcasm, blaming, emotional ""overheating,"" or employing the words ""always,"" ""never"" or ""should"" are among the ways parents contribute to problems with their kids, the author argues. Bernstein guides parents down a more ""mindful"" path, helping them to reduce stress and alter negative emotions by changing their thoughts. He also suggests ways to use ""collaborative logical consequences"" instead of empty or damaging threats. Frazzled adults may too often be tempted to blame their discontent on their child's behavior, but Bernstein places responsibility for the relationship squarely in the hands of parents, while simultaneously offering support and practical strategies for reducing parental stress. In a conversational style, he also shares his clients' stories, along with his own challenges as the father of three.
Reviewed on: 06/01/2009
Release date: 06/01/2009
Genre: Nonfiction
Paperback - 320 pages - 978-986-120-261-7
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