Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility

Language acquisition isn't just a toddler's job: Moorman takes parenting common sense--the notion that affirming, loving speech is crucial to a child's growth and self-esteem--to the level of a""skills-based program"" of parenting language in this earnest volume. In a new introduction (Moorman originally self-published the book), he encourages parents to select a few of his""Parent Talk"" phrases and practice them until they come naturally; gradually, they can move on to fluency. Parents, he says, should use language that encourages their child to make choices, learn""response-ability"" (healthy responses to challenges and setbacks) and seek solutions--e.g.,""How come you picked your grumpy mood?"";""So your dad says you're grounded. How did you produce that result?""; and""I know you can handle it."" Some of Moorman's phrases sound extremely awkward, while some familiar ones--""You did a good job""--are verboten. (Praise that evaluates rather than describes or appreciates can make children into""praise junkies"" whose sense of worth is dependent on others' compliments instead of their own confidence, Moorman warns.) It would take an extremely conscientious parent to employ all these phrases consistently, but Moorman's basic message of encouraging child empowerment and family solidarity through healthy parental communication is an important one, and many of his suggestions feel right on target.