cover image DAUGHTERS AND MOTHERS: Making It Work

DAUGHTERS AND MOTHERS: Making It Work

Dorothy Firman, Julie Firman, . . Health Communications, $12.95 (240pp) ISBN 978-0-7573-0124-7

The Firmans, a mother-and-daughter team, were two of the coauthors of Chicken Soup for the Mother & Daughter Soul. Taking a more hands-on approach, they offer this look at the often turbulent, emotionally charged relationship between moms and their daughters. Using examples from their own lives as well as case studies from their patients (they run workshops on mother-daughter relationships), the Firmans describe the most common reasons these relationships experience stress and the various strategies readers can use to lessen conflict. Some of the scenarios will be familiar: adult children still wanting to please their parents or expecting their mothers to bail them out of trouble; mothers who can't see their daughters as mature adults able to make their own decisions. The authors intersperse the anecdotes with exercises that include self-assessment tests and writing assignments to help readers identify their roles and how they can make changes. This book mostly deals with mother-daughter relationships between two adults, and the Firmans write, "If daughters manage to become 'ex-children,' to think and feel like adults, separate and autonomous, they have taken a huge step. So, too, when mothers can become 'mother graduates' and can experience themselves as adults beyond the mothering role, they have taken an important step in their lives." Readers looking for the soothing tone of a Chicken Soup volume will be disappointed, as this book, while upbeat, is squarely positioned as a standard self-help volume. (Sept.)