Groomed: Overcoming the Messages That Shaped Our Past and Limit Our Future

Good, cofounder of the Selah Way Foundation, which combats sex trafficking and sexual abuse, guides readers in how to recognize and overcome potentially abusive behavior in her measured, explicit debut. Grooming is defined here as influence by those one trusts, and, Good writes, can be both positive and negative. But there are five main areas in which society negatively grooms women: appearances (being told to look a certain way), invisibility (being told you don’t matter), endurance (being told you must do it all), judgment (being told you are not forgivable), and finance (being told you are only what you have or earn). Listening to these messages can lead to long-term feelings of shame and low self-esteem that shape the rest of one’s life, she writes. To explain the trajectory of grooming, Good creates a typical example along with her own story of sexual abuse, as well as the resulting shame and guilt that brought devastating results to her mental and physical health. She offers many questions, and prompts to help women unpack the effects of social pressures. With sharp insight culled from years of counseling experience, Good helps women find ways to confront grooming and take practical steps toward creating a healthier future. Agent: Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary (Jan.)