cover image Lessons in Love

Lessons in Love

Guy Corneau. Henry Holt & Company, $22.5 (224pp) ISBN 978-0-8050-6024-9

Can we ever experience true intimacy in our adult personal lives? Canadian psychoanalyst Corneau (Absent Fathers, Lost Sons), a Jungian analyst, says we cannot. That is, not until we repair the ravages of society's patriarchy, which has affected our familial experiences--those interactions between mother and son, father and daughter. Corneau's straightforward approach aims not to ""make the journey easier"" but rather to ""unlock the meaning of the problems""; doing so offers opportunities for growth and ""profound self-knowledge."" Using fairy tales and myths to illustrate psychological conflicts and their possible resolutions, Corneau explicates the ""paternal complexes"" of women and ""maternal complexes"" of men that live as ghosts between them, resulting in ""the woman who loves too much"" and ""the man who is afraid to love."" According to Corneau, underlying the problems are basic human issues of balancing ""fusion and separation""--which, loosely translated, means that one has to love oneself before being able to love another. In order to achieve this state, one must face and resolve the problems that prevent intimacy, first in parent-child, then in adult, relationships. Corneau unties knotty psychological concepts; claiming not to have all the answers, he offers ""musings"" on intimacy. He draws not only from laboratory findings and clients in therapy but also from his personal experiences, providing an unusually thoughtful treatise on a popular yet elusive topic. (Jan.)