cover image When Families Fight: How to Handle Conflict with Those You Love

When Families Fight: How to Handle Conflict with Those You Love

Jeffrey Rubin. William Morrow & Company, $17.95 (300pp) ISBN 978-0-87795-889-5

While family conflict can be destructive, the authors, a husband and wife team of psychologistshe teaches at Tufts University in Boston and she teaches at Harvard Medical Schoolargue persuasively that family fighting is normal and, if fair and ``creative,'' can lead to tolerance of differences. With a keen ear for dialogue in cases they cite from professional and first-hand parental experience, they identify specific problems that arise at different stages of life, from courtship to departure of grown children, and suggest practical measures along with psychological tools such as face-saving, self-control and negotiation. They warn against fights that escalate from issues to persons and to grievances that are part of a struggle for identity and power. Constant conflict, physical or substance abuse signal the need for professional intervention, the authors stress. First serial to Redbook. (Feb.)