Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way

Perry, a social psychologist and the author of Writing in Flow: Keys to Enhanced Creativity, draws on the ups and downs in her own marriage as well as interviews with other couples, both straight and gay, to glean many of her insights in this detailed exploration of the complexity inherent in coupledom. In the""Coping With Conflict"" chapter, for example, she advises readers to""Be a Weatherperson"" (""Assess what else is going on in your lives that might be contributing to this particular clash""), and in the""Sex (More or Less)"" chapter, she acknowledges that""it can be quite erotic to...share full-bodied laughter to the point of near-exhaustion."" No doubt anyone who's ever been in a relationship will see themselves reflected in at least some of this book--after all, who hasn't argued over the housework? To demonstrate that everyone gets on his or her partner's nerves at times, Perry makes an inadvertently funny list of her husband's annoying habits, like""Jiggles his glass of ice cubes repeatedly"" and""Mixes big and little spoons in the drawer when he puts silverware away."" Perry admits the trivial nature of her gripes, but reminds readers that integrating""the positive and the negative is necessary to maintain an overall positive view of your partner."" From that obvious assessment, Perry writes more specifically, providing engaging case studies and the lessons that can be learned from them. Perry handles more serious relationship challenges such as adultery, illness, and dealing with a partner's interest in pornography in a straightforward manner. Maintaining a healthy, happy relationship isn't easy, but Perry's methods, based on Michaly Csikszentmihalyi's concept of Flow, show that""a superior relationship...is achievable if you both want it enough.""