Paradise Rules

Gleacher (Silly Little Rich Girl) creates a teenage boy with a smart mouth, a good soul, and a life that is being thoroughly screwed up by the adults around him. At 17, Gates (aka Caspar, aka Fun Buns) is a star on the golf team and in a relationship with Melanie, whose dad, when drunk on the links where Gates caddies, likes to cop a feel of his backside (hence the nickname). Melanie is eager to lose her virginity, but the guilt that Gates feels over having slept with his godmother renders him impotent, straining their relationship ("Unlike the truth, a flaccid penis is impossible to hide"). Gates reads to old people, is best friends with a male model named Tommy Tommy Tommy (he stutters and suffers from OCD), has to contend with a suicidal mother, and fleeces golfers for the country club manager. Yet Gates still sees the good in people, even when his life begins to unravel. Gates is a lovable, witty narrator, a little boy forced to grow up too soon hiding behind the healthy bravado of the men's locker room. Gleacher brings levity and wit to a coming-of-age tale reminiscent of Caddyshack. (July)