A Modern Marriage: A Memoir

A married couple from Texas, both accountants, are transplanted to New York City for their jobs, and plunge into the heady world of swinging as their way of “busting out of the status quo.” In this self-justifying, self-congratulatory memoir of their evolving hedonistic experiences since 2005, Christy Kidd, who narrates, describes how the couple transformed themselves from babes in the woods to savvy, hardened swingers (a word she does not like but uses for lack of a better one). Bored and “stir-crazy” one New Year’s Eve, they happened online upon a “password” party near their apartment in Manhattan and were astonished to find themselves in the middle of an orgy with a group of ecstatic, naked adults. What to do? As a loving, committed couple, they retreated and talked it out, writing up some “ground rules” to their sex dabbling with other couples, such as proceeding always step-by-step together; using protection; “pacing” themselves, meaning they would not indulge in a couples’ hookup more than once a month; and “maintaining purity”—that is, never having sex with each other in front of other people. The Kidds research sex parties, learn the lingo (“soft swap” vs. “full swap”), deal with the initial awkward meetings with other couples, and explore sex clubs like Trapeze. They attend full-throttle parties with sex toys and strippers in middle-class New Jersey neighborhoods, and chronicle it all unflinchingly, observing how other couples burn out, while their own marriage is strengthened. (Nov.)