Status Games: Why We Play and How to Stop

In this engrossing, matter-of-fact examination of the human being as a social animal, Breuning (Habits of a Happy Brain) details the biological origins of the innate need for status. “We all fret over social comparison because we’ve all inherited a limbic brain that does that,” suggests Breuning. “Fortunately, we have power over these emotions when we know how we create them.” She explores how hormones (particularly oxytocin, serotonin, and cortisol) create instinctive human responses—even addictions—to approval from others and how one can change these responses. Her advice: accept one’s mammalian urge for social importance, make a plan consisting of small steps that amount to a goal one can be proud of and takes into account the approval of others as a motivator, then repeat the new steps so a new pathway (or habit) builds toward healthy attachments to achievement. One of the most intriguing facts explains why people commonly feel they “see the world through a lens built in high school,” where social status and popularity play an outsized role: neuroplasticity peaks in adolescence, so the pathways we build in those years get quite large. Breuning’s winning combination of simple advice for small changes and accessible science-based assessments make this a standout. Anyone who wonders about the age-old question of nature vs. nurture will devour this slim volume that weighs both sides evenly. (Sept.)