The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I’ve Had): A Memoir

Comedian and TV writer Santos bares it all—the good, the bad, and the outrageously, obliviously gay—in this laugh-out-loud debut about coming out and feeling secure “in an insecure world.” An Army brat raised by a perpetually uprooted Filipino-Spanish family, Santos describes the difficult process of discovering her true self, first as a budding musical theater star in high school and later as an Alabama pageant queen (“My drug? Victory bouquets”), a sorority sister earning her “MRS degree,” and eventually—after a rocky road to admitting her sexuality to herself and “crossing the threshold into certified gaydom”—a too-accurate replica of the adulterous Shane from The L Word. Though some of her humor and colloquialisms (“as per ushe”) don’t translate smoothly from stage to page, her breezy tone feels intimate and makes the more serious and somber moments—such as her first comprehension of race (and the term “ethnically ambiguous”), her struggles with mental health, and rueful admissions of having mistreated former girlfriends—hit all the harder. LGBTQ millennials are sure to find a kindred spirit, warts and all, in these clever pages. Agent: Jack Greenbaum, the Arlook Group. (Oct.)