Shy Single

Bonnie Jacobson, Author, Sandra J. Gordon, With Rodale Press $15.95 (256p) ISBN 978-1-57954-869-8
Rather than try to""convert"" the shy into voluble social minglers,""shyness workshop"" leader Jacobson offers techniques for working with shyness rather than against it when on the prowl. One of the many strategies she outlines is taking care to put oneself in situations where one's light can shine out most clearly without triggering""shyness attacks."" If introducing oneself to a stranger in a bar, for example, causes""overload"" (monosyllabic conversation, rapid heartrate, panic), Jacobson shows how to talk oneself through those temporary symptoms. If that fails, she offers suggestions for more structured first encounters--without ruining friendships by constantly demanding to be fixed up. She gives a cute name (""payback"") to the remorse one feels after making conversational blunders that then lead to self-reproach, and even self-punishment to the point of total shutting down--and she explains how to break the payback cycle. She offers fill-in-the-blank workbook techniques for combating a host of other dating obstacles and""coach's corner"" tips throughout. One of the few dating books aimed at both men and women, this volume adopts a low stress, egalitarian, upbeat attitude. Imitating the""nonshys,"" getting""socially buff,"" and, yes, facing rejection (as well as acceptance) all come under careful, step-by-step scrutiny.
Reviewed on: 06/14/2004
Release date: 06/01/2004
Hardcover - 222 pages - 978-1-4050-6728-7
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