Asylum: A Memoir about Hollywood, Mental Illness, Recovery, and Being My Mother's Son

Actor Pantoliano bares his life struggles in this brave account of a journey to identify a life of reckless behavior. Writing with humor and candor, his unexpected discoveries through therapeutic insights as well as his gift as an artist "to relive" the memory of real pain leads him to uncover his clinical depression. Born with dyslexia and ADHD, raised by a controlling mother who literally blocked the doorway, Pantoliano believes that moving to New York City to study theater will release him of his dark moods. But he can't battle his addictions to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, spending, stealing, as his fame rises. As group therapy develops his acting skills, his doctor manipulates him, akin to his maternal dependency, where he was "told which feelings were appropriate," then his analyst tightens his grip by becoming part of Pantoliano's Hollywood talent agency. Pantoliano intersperses his narrative with dreams, fictional confrontations, and even interpretations of his life by formal girlfriends. His work to end the melancholia stigma with his organization No Kidding, Me2 addresses mental illness and suicide in the military: he suggests that to "eliminate the shame, obliterate the blame." Many will identify with his conflicts, and fans of Pantoliano will appreciate his honesty. (June)