Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nurture Love, Trust, and Connection with Your Partner

Therapist Muñoz (A Year of Us) urges couples to stop obsessing and instead embrace discomfort in this earnest if at times vague program. The author warns against “repetitive, negative overthinking... that erodes trust and sabotages love” and offers practical exercises for partners to work through their unproductive thoughts and behavior. She encourages readers to stop dwelling on “difficult moments” and to start “being with them,” but provides little clarification on the difference between the two. Muñoz identifies five “rumination cycles” centered around “blame, control, doubt, worry, and self-pity,” and offers an antidote for each, suggesting for example, that readers overcome doubt by trusting that one’s feelings are valid. To develop a growth mindset, the author recommends her “SLOW” approach (“seeing, labeling, opening, and welcoming”), which aims to reduce overthinking by identifying its triggers and embracing vulnerability. Exercises include using breath work to counteract worry and writing down negative thoughts alongside more affirmative alternatives to practice positive thinking. Muñoz’s systematized approach (“ten dead-end scripts,” “four basic steps you can use to see thoughts,” “four steps of SLOW”) will help readers easily digest her suggestions, even if the meaning behind her frequent exhortations to “be with unsettling experiences” remains hazy. Still, this offers some considerate guidance. (Sept.)