The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself

TikTok star and It’s Me, Tinx podcaster Tinx encourages women to take an empowered stance toward dating in her chatty, candid debut. Though many women have been “brainwashed” by a culture that prizes male validation, Tinx writes—even Sex and the City, a show that featured four successful female leads, boiled down to “Will she end up with this guy or that guy?”—dating shouldn’t be a means to an end, but a process of self discovery. The author dispenses advice on first impressions (“evaluate him like you’d evaluate your best friend’s new guy”), better sex (“the key... is getting out of your head and into your body”), and redefining what makes a date successful (“Sometimes it’s a date where you try Ethiopian food the first time”). Once in a relationship, the author counsels, readers should guard themselves from the perils of “Boyfriend Sickness,” an “affliction that causes you to lose yourself” in a relationship, by staying connected to friends and remaining invested in personal interests. Despite a few tips that seem not to align with the self-directed bent of the rest of her advice (“matching his energy” while texting, referring to enthusiasm, feels akin to game playing), her advice is mostly sensible, delivered with a healthy dose of humor, and backed by accounts of her own dating foibles. This will refresh those seeking a new approach to dating. (May)