cover image Do I Have to Wear Black to a Funeral?: 112 Etiquette Guidelines for the New Rules of Death

Do I Have to Wear Black to a Funeral?: 112 Etiquette Guidelines for the New Rules of Death

Florence Isaacs. Countryman, $14.95 trade paper (176p) ISBN 978-1-68-268356-9

Isaacs (Business Notes), a writer for obituary website Legacy.com, dispenses advice on funerals and death-related etiquette in this informative guide. Using a q&a format, Isaacs focuses on four main topics: “When Someone Else’s Loved One Dies,” “When You Are the Bereaved,” “Planning Ahead,” and “Talking About Death and Grief.” She lays out the basics of traditional funeral norms from various religions and explains emerging trends, such as death cafés where people gather to openly discuss death, crowdfunding to cover funeral expenses, and pet funerals. She also provides helpful, succinct information on the nitty-gritty of funeral planning—from basic questions like burial vs. cremation, to a variety of special circumstances, such as a death overseas. Isaacs gives particular attention to the sensitive task of offering condolences, and is consistently mindful of the difficulty of relying on etiquette norms in a multicultural and ever-changing society. Due to the grab-bag nature of topics, the book suffers from some inconsistencies in tone and perceived audience. For instance, Isaacs’s detailing of celebrity funerals and trivia about funeral customs feels out of place next to a discussion of suicide. However, anyone having to plan a funeral will find this to be a helpful guide. (Jan.)