The New Masculinity: A Roadmap for a 21st-Century Definition of Manhood

AskMen senior editor Manley (translator, Made Up) offers a thoughtful guide to becoming a more ethical, caring, and considerate man. Contending that #MeToo, mass shootings, a rising education gender gap, and other factors have pushed traditional masculinity to “a crisis point,” Manley, who is nonbinary, blends academic research and personal anecdotes to call for a shift in masculine habits and attitudes that have been detrimental to men and women. These include limiting oneself to “art created by men, about men, for men,” which leaves one struggling to recognize women’s humanity and valuable perspectives; believing men should dominate in sex, which limits one’s pleasure as well as their partner’s; treating male friendships as “a surface-level thing” rather than being willing to forge deeper bonds by expressing vulnerability; and the conviction that “winning is paramount, losing is anathema and fighting is the way to bridge the difference.” Throughout, Manley’s autobiographical asides—about their first sexual experiences, being bullied in grade school, the predatory approach their male creative writing professors took to the program’s female students, coming out as nonbinary—buttress insights from David Graeber, Hanna Rosin, Sarah Schulman, and others. Earnest yet provocative, this wake-up call has much to offer. (May)