I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

Daigle-Orians (18 Victoria), whose “Ace Dad Advice” project raises visibility of asexuality on social media, delivers a thorough primer on asexuality. The author discusses the basics of asexuality and tells his story of coming out, recounting his inability to describe his sexuality while growing up and coming out as gay as a young adult, and later as asexual after learning about the term on Tumblr. He suggests that having language to describe one’s sexuality can make it easier to build community around those labels, and to that end he explores such “umbrella labels” on the asexual spectrum as “graysexual” (people who rarely experience sexual attraction) and breaks down such smaller “microlabels” as “apothisexual” (people who find sex repulsive). Noting that one can have romance without sex, he outlines alternative relationship models—including consensual nonmonogamy and polyamory—often sought out by asexual people. Daigle-Orians’s frequent use of question-and-answer format (“What if I call myself asexual and find out I’m wrong?”; “When should I tell someone I’m interested in I’m asexual?”) feels like receiving guidance from a compassionate mentor, and readers will appreciate his no-frills, conversational style. This is a welcome addition to the growing literature on asexuality. (Jan.)