13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do: Fix What’s Broken, Develop Healthier Patterns, and Grow Stronger Together

In the sensible follow-up to 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, therapist Morin aims to help couples break “common but unhealthy habits that will eat at your mental strength” and replace them with relationship-fortifying ones. Her solid counsel includes not ignoring problems, particularly those “likely to grow bigger” (being in debt, parenting disagreements); not keeping secrets, which exert an “emotional toll” on the secret-keeper and cause secondary damage to the relationship (instead, partners can open up a dialogue about honesty—“What’s an example of a time when you’re glad I confided in you about something?”); and not being a “martyr,” as it’s possible to acknowledge another’s stress without denying one’s own (she reminds readers to practice asking for—and accepting—help, otherwise their partners will “be left trying to guess” how to offer it). Grounding her advice in ample case studies, Morin strikes a smart balance between encouraging readers to engage in self-examination (healthier people make for healthier partners) and team-based compromise and communication, all delivered in conversational and nonjudgmental prose that will earn readers’ trust. It’s an intelligent and approachable resource for those looking to work on their relationships. (Dec.)