Who’s the Favorite?: The Loving, Messy Realities of Sibling Relationships

Relatively podcaster Carr mixes research, cultural criticism, and personal anecdotes for this informative debut study of the complexities of sibling relationships. Driven to explore the topic by her family history—as children, she and her old sister were separated from their youngest sister after their parents split—Carr finds that sibling relationships are among the least scrutinized by researchers, despite frequently being the most enduring ties of one’s life. She explores whether birth order influences one’s personality (possibly, though effects are tough to untangle “from the kaleidoscope of other forces at play”); how assigned roles—golden child, clown—shape personality (labels can be locked into place during childhood thanks to comparisons between siblings, sometimes “casting a shadow over relationships” into adulthood); and why siblings can have vastly different perceptions of the same formative event. Carr also digs into research showing that older siblings can exert as much influence on younger siblings as parents, and offers a sensitive if brief chapter on how half- and step-siblings navigate the challenges of building a family without shared lore and history. Carr keeps the pace brisk by leavening research-heavy passages with chatty, vivid anecdotes—both her own and those gleaned from her podcast. The result is a thought-provoking, expansive look at an important but understudied familial bond. (Apr.)