Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection

UC Davis psychology professor Eastwick upends popular assumptions about relationships with this illuminating debut study of romantic attraction. He marshals evidence from anthropology, psychology, and sociology to combat what he refers to as “the EvoScript”: the idea that mate selection operates according to Darwinian principles of natural selection, and that some people thus possess traits (good looks; high earning potential) that confer better chances of reproductive success. In reality, Eastwick points out, traits that create a desirable first impression have little to do with successful long-term bonds, which depend mostly on compatibility and effective attachment—that is, the decisions and interactions that over time build a shared reality between two people. Eastwick analyzes how the EvoScript theory has shaped the modern dating landscape, from online dating to tradwife and incel subcultures that reinforce rigid notions of gender, and offers useful suggestions for finding one’s partner in spite of such obstacles (build small, in-person social networks; show up to dates with a few planned discussion topics for smoother conversation). Bolstered by thorough research, lucid personal anecdotes, and useful questionnaires, the result is an astute road map for finding a love that lasts. (Feb.)