What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living

Button (Dear Death) mines her career as a death doula for this compassionate meditation on what makes a meaningful life. Death, she writes, strips away “superficial and unimportant entrapments... making space for what matters most”—generally, relationships, living with a sense of purpose, and inner peace. Sharing stories of how clients prepared for death, she writes that a man named Floyd organized photo collections to feel connected to his deceased wife and how a woman named Carrie reconnected with her estranged kids in an effort to die with a “clean slate.” Even surprising requests reveal deep psychological needs, Button explains, noting that Amanda—after her friends cleaned her house—realized she wanted to die with a messy, lived-in home that reflected the full family life she’d cultivated. While Button’s commonsense advice for living intentionally might not be new, she excels at pithily summarizing her wisdom and stitching poignant observations into the client stories (Floyd, she writes, “needed to tell me that he has never stopped reaching over to the other side of the bed to touch his wife each morning, even though he knows she will not be there”). Readers will be moved. (Sept.)