Pan

A courageous teenager explores the roots of his anxiety in the evocative and erudite first novel by memoirist Clune (Gamelife). Fifteen-year-old Nick has moved into his dad’s condo in suburban Chicago. His parents are divorced, and his mother thinks he needs his father. But his father’s never there, so after Nick has his first panic attack, he embarks on a lonely quest to discover where his anxiety comes from. After his third episode, he checks into the hospital, where a doctor teaches him to cope by breathing into a paper bag. His visits to a psychiatrist and a therapist are epic failures, so he turns to literature, discovering that the word panic comes from the name of the god Pan. His friend Sarah takes him to meet a group of kids who hang out in a barn near the house of brothers Ian and Tod. Wasted most of the time, the group toys with the idea that Nick’s panic and angst are magical, and Pan has gotten inside him. On the other hand, Nick’s friend Ty wonders if it isn’t because of his “familylessness,” so Nick adds his parents’ divorce to the litany of causes. Unable to sleep, he begins to write as a form of therapy (“I’ll write all of this, so it’s mine”). Clune unfurls breathtaking pages-long descriptions of Nick’s disordered thinking, and as Nick faces the limits of writing as therapy, the narrative barrels toward a frightening and enigmatic ending. This staggering coming-of-age saga is tough to shake. (July)