Adulting for Amateurs: Misadventures of a Geriatric Millennial

“I remember how I stared at my middle-aged mom and her peers and thought how sad they were with their creaking joints gyrating to Blondie,” writes Gutierrez (A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking)) in the introduction to this snarky memoir-in-essays. “Back then, with working parts still fully working, I couldn’t imagine ever being in their place.” With self-deprecating humor, Gutierrez, who was born in 1984, unpacks the bewildering experience of becoming the adult in the room regardless of feeling mature enough for the job. For much of the account, she recalls the totems of her early millennial childhood, including cereal box prizes, boy bands, Steve from Blue’s Clues, and a perpetual fear of toxic shock syndrome from leaving her tampon in too long. Throughout, Gutierrez’s nostalgic memories of writing in her diary with a Lisa Frank gel pen collide with more contemporary anecdotes about marriage and parenting (“Pure unadulterated bullshit most of the time,” she jokes). Gutierrez freely admits that her irreverent musings aren’t especially novel, but they are funny, and, for millennial women, wincingly relatable (after lamenting Gen Z’s rejection of heavy black eyeliner, she cries, “Are they coming for my panties next?”). It’s a fluffy but fun celebration of Generation Y. Agent: Claire Draper, Au Literary. (Apr.)