The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center

Cohen questions in her illuminating debut the notion “that a long-term monogamous romantic relationship is necessary for a normal, successful adulthood” and considers what a life that prioritizes “devoted” friendships might look like instead. Among others for whom friendship is “life’s centerpiece,” Cohen interviews Christian youth pastors Art and Nick, who weathered backlash from fellow church members who believed the two men were dating, and retirees Barb and Inez, who “found a mirror” in each other and serve as one another’s de facto caretakers. According to Cohen, society is hard-pressed to understand friendships that in some ways supersede romantic relationships because they’re a “provocation—unsettling the set of social tenets that circumscribe our intimate lives.” It’s partly this “unclassifiable” quality that lends friendship its unique power, however; without “a prewritten script to follow,” people can construct their own friendship narratives, Cohen contends. Personal details from the author’s own friendships enrich the work, and thoughtful analyses of the historical expectations of marriage and friendship underscore the subject’s complexity. It’s a smart and heartfelt testament to the power of social bonds outside “compulsory coupledom.” (Feb.)