The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us

The stubborn desire to matter—to oneself, to loved ones, to God—explains much about human nature and its discontents, according to this incisive study. Philosopher Goldstein (The Mind-Body Problem) posits a “mattering instinct,” or a desire to be deserving of attention, that arises in childhood and matures into a habit of organizing one’s life around “mattering projects” that encapsulate one’s “reason to live.” She catalogs the rich variety of ways people try to carve out purpose: “socializers” try to matter through relationships; “heroic strivers” through achievement; and “transcenders” through communion with whatever spiritual principle orders the cosmos. She also traces the myriad ways mattering shapes society, from spurring progress to inciting evil. (Noting that it can inspire mass murderers to kill and religious zealots to persecute non-believers, Goldstein profiles a man who, as an abused teenager, joined up with neo-Nazis who made him feel he mattered—then repudiated them and converted to Judaism). Convincingly situating the instinct to matter as increasingly vital in a world that can feel impersonal and starved of meaning, Goldstein takes on some of life’s biggest questions with a loose-limbed exploration of such wide-ranging topics as thermodynamic entropy and Victorian fly-fishing lures made from exotic feathers (which still matter to modern-day connoisseurs of the art). It’s a fascinating take on a profound yet little-understood aspect of the psyche. (Jan.)