Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience

In this compassionate manual, therapist Harwood (Securely Attached) explains how parents can use attachment theory to bond with their children. How someone is raised determines which of four relationship styles one forms in adulthood, Harwood explains, noting that secure attachment is the ideal and that it follows from a caregiver’s ability to connect with and help regulate the emotions of their child. Expounding on how to form secure bonds, Harwood warns against issuing dictates and instead urges parents to work with children to understand why they might be resisting a request and come up with a mutually satisfying solution. To help children cope with their emotions, Harwood recommends that parents identify their child’s feeling for them, encourage them to “let the emotions out (cry, usually, but also growl or huff),” and then close with a hug. Though Harwood includes a few tips for teens, the balance of the advice will be most applicable for younger children. Useful scripts show how parents can support kids while encouraging them to get outside their comfort zone (“You’ve got this, kid, but if something else happens and you need my help, I am a phone call away”), and Harwood brings a welcome recognition that even in the most loving families, “every parent and child is destined to have seasons of strife and struggle.” Parents of all stripes will want to check this out. (Sept.)