Psst. Want to know another secret? A better one?
This other secret has been fought over for centuries by kings. It has been debated by rabbis, hidden by bearded sorcerers, swallowed in balloons by Colombian drug mules and once spent a very unpleasant weekend in Sheboygan, Wis.
It is this: the power of the universe is waiting for you to exploit it. Like a vulnerable, cosmic rainforest, it is ripe to be plundered at your whim. If harnessed correctly, you can use it to achieve great personal wealth, tremendous personal wealth, even obscene personal wealth. Also, exit row seats.
Our secret is based on the infallible wisdom of the Law of Detraction, which holds that your thoughts have great power, especially the mean ones. Put another way: if you can't say anything nice, good for you.
How, you ask, can I misappropriate this primordial spiritual juju for my own needs?
First, visualize yourself buying our DVD.
See? It's working already! For us.
Once you open your mind to the possibilities of the Law of Detraction, you will discover that channeling your negativity (and the universe's) is easier than you think.
The Law of Detraction thrives on negation. And it is an absolute, immutable fact of science that the Law of Detraction enables you to solve all your problems by giving them to someone else. (It is also well documented in mathematics. When two negatives multiply, a positive result occurs. See: Ivanka Trump.) As longtime Law of Detraction practitioner Gore Vidal once taught, "It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail."
Consider the difference between these thoughts:
"I don't want to catch the flu." / "I want you to catch the flu.
"I can't handle all this work." / "Here, you do it."
"I'm not splitting this check." / "I only had a salad."
Physicists tell us we are all negative energy. As you will learn (on the DVD), negative energy turned inward is energy wasted. Whereas negativity unleashed on someone else is an opportunity. Plus, it just feels good. As the Law dictates, "Do unto others. Period."
When confronted with any decision, first ask yourself, "Who benefits from this?" If the answer is not "Me!" you're doing it wrong. There's no "I" in love.
We who employ the Law understand innately that belittling others makes you feel bigger. And as the Bible teaches us, when it comes to hostility, it is better to give than to receive. Floods, plagues, the salt lady, that "first born" thing, you get the gist.
The idea is to go, like God, beyond managing anger to deploying it. Bobby Knight, Dick Cheney, Naomi Campbell, Simon Cowell (mostly on season one), Judith Regan and Harvey Weinstein, among many others—have all used their unwavering adherence to the Law of Detraction to reap great social and financial gains. Gains they totally deserved.
Negative transference, however, has more to offer than just incalculable, insulating riches. It can also improve your health. Not only can you cure your own cancer, you can—with practice and true devotion—learn to give your cancer to someone else. (Understand, these principles are fluid. The type of cancer you hope to give may not be within your power. But this should not stop you from trying.)
Thankfully, hate, as psychobiologists tell us, is a renewable resource. Spend all you like. There's plenty more where that came from.
The universe opens doors to those who are unafraid to kick them down. The only thing you need to do to start your journey is to make somebody feel bad right now.
Later is good, too.
|Allison Glock is the author of Beauty Before Comfort (Knopf). Michael Solomon is an editor at ESPN Books. They also believe in the power of the Seacrest.|