Screwed

At one point in bestseller Colfer’s violent, cartoonish sequel to 2011’s Plugged, Dan McEvoy, owner of a sleazy bar in Cloister, N.J., reckons that Irish gangster Mike Madden leaving him alone is “about as likely as a hyena spitting out a hunk of red meat which is then eaten by a supermodel, which is not probable firstly because hyenas don’t ever not eat meat and supermodels hardly ever do, then there’s the obvious hygiene issue and thirdly there’s the geographical factor.” If this sort of rambling, stream-of-consciousness passage amuses you, then you should enjoy this crime novel, which follows McEvoy’s desperate efforts to stay alive. In addition to Madden, who promised to kill McEvoy “just as soon as [Madden’s] mother passed away,” he must also survive abduction by some crooked cops who plan to torture him at a voyeur’s behest. Those who prefer their heroes to display realistic emotions and behave plausibly should look elsewhere. Agent: Sophie Hicks, Ed Victor Ltd. (U.K.). (May)